Well, looks like your girl’s sick.
It was bound to happen. It always does soon after the kids go back to school.
One of them catches something. Then I catch it. And then I lay in bed wondering why I didn’t move to the woods and unschool them instead of exposing myself to all this.
So I’ve been spending hours and hours in bed (but not in a sexy way).
I’m watching all the videos I skipped on my YouTube subscription page, even though I skipped them for a reason.
My throat is sore, so I’m surviving mainly by sucking on popsicles (but not in a sexy way).
Thankfully, it missed Mr. Austin. I’m super jealous that he gets to feel fine, eat regular food, and still has lots of energy.
But mostly I’m grateful, because it means he can take good care of me (but not in a sexy way).
Actually, I kind of wish it was in a sexy way. It would be a lot less boring than what I’ve been doing.
Normally, when I get sick, I get horny. Not right away. Not when I’m feeling at my most miserable. But sooner or later, I start getting some filthy ideas even if I’m in no shape to act on most of them.
It hasn’t happened yet, though.
I’ve been getting lots of backrubs but haven’t asked for a single happy ending.
I have a closet full of sex toys but still don’t have the energy to jill off. Not even with one of my super effective clit suckers.
It blows. Being stuck in bed without anything dirty to do and no turquoise Switch to keep me busy is making me one bored girl.
I’ll keep my fingers crossed. With any luck, the sick hornies are going to hit me any minute now.
Then I can finally get Mr. Austin to take real good care of me.
(In a sexy way.)
This Week’s New Articles
Amish porn is seriously hot!
It’s got so many things I look for in a scene.
Experience gaps and girls having their first sexual experiences.
Innocence corrupted - in a very fun and playful way.
And bonnets! I didn’t even know I was into bonnets until I started watching this stuff!
This week, I decided to spread Amish porn awareness by sharing my three favorite scenes!
Are you masturbating wrong?
Okay, I know that sounds like a weird question but hear me out.
You can masturbate however you want - on your stomach, with your showerhead, or with toys in every hole. It’s all good!
But there are a few common masturbation mistakes and there’s a decent chance you’re making at least one of them.
Some of those mistakes increase your masturbation-related risks. Some of them keep you from giving yourself as much pleasure as you could.
And if you avoid all of them, you’ll have way more fun when you go solo!
Finding out that I’m a middle has improved my life in so many ways.
It helped me figure out what kinds of things give me the most comfort and why I need to surround myself with them.
It encouraged me to lean into a more cute and colorful aesthetic instead of trying too hard to be a grownup.
But more importantly, it helped me get extra horny and have incredibly hot sex.
That’s been a really big deal for me because it turns out that being a middle isn’t just a part of me - it’s actually my biggest kink.
And now that I know that, I’ve figured out all sorts of ways to satisfy it.
Brand New Smut!
I might be under the weather, but I’ve got my horny followers covered!
I still had unreleased videos and photos to pick from once I got sick. And I also filmed something with Jake just before I got all blah.
This week, I uploaded 8 minutes of me bringing myself to multiple orgasms with my favorite finger vibrator!
And of course, there’s lots there already and more to come - videos of me teasing, masturbating, sucking cock, and getting fucked.
Sign up to my JustForFans page and you can check out all that action, along with more than 20 other dirty videos!
If you want to get yourself a little something fun, here are some companies I love supporting!
Okay, this sickness comes at a terrible time because I recently got access to Team Skeet and there are so many videos I want to watch! I dipped into Teens Love Anal, My Babysitter’s Club, and BFFs - and I can’t wait to explore even more! If you want to peep it for yourself, clicking on my affiliate link will get you a discounted price!
If you’ve got a clit and you don’t have a toy that sucks it, you’re kinda missing out. It’s a completely different sensation from a vibrator - and it can give you some incredibly intense orgasms! Right now, my favorite is the Lelo Sila. It’s small, cute, comfortable to use, and gentle enough even for a sensitive clit like mine. If you want to try it, you can get one from Betty’s Toy Box and use the code LOVEEMMA at checkout to save 15% on your entire order!
Have you ever gotten off to April O’Neil? I have. More than once. She’s super cute and so much fun to watch! And she’s just been featured in her 50th scene for Girlsway, so if you want to see her get it on with lots and lots of other hot girls, that’s the place to go! Use the code LOVEEMMA when you sign up to treat yourself to a free week!
These are all affiliate links by the way. If you click them and make a purchase (or use one of my discount codes), I earn a small commission on the sale and you will be supporting my work.
Pillow Talk with Emma Austin
What turns us on? What do we struggle with sexually? Do we prefer sensual romance or watching people fuck it out?
Join us on this journey of sexual self-discovery, listen to us overthink another quiz, and hear Jake have an identity crisis on air!
We also talk about how men are dogs and Jake is a golden retriever, why my love of novelty is a real problem, and plan a new sidehustle as quiz critics!
Check out the show notes for relevant links. And if you love the show, consider rating and reviewing it on Apple Podcasts or anywhere else!
Connect With Me!
Want to connect with me? Check me out on social media.
For original photography, some fun stuff, and a weekly podcast preview, follow me on Instagram!
I'm also active on Twitter.
Check out the Pillow Talk Patreon page for exclusive bonus episodes, audio porn, and occasional nudes.
Go to my JustForFans page if you want to check out my hardcore porn videos.
And follow me on Medium!