Good morning - I'm going back to bed 🥱😴
Hi!
I’m going back to bed as soon as I’m done writing this.
And I’ll probably be there all day.
Not just because it’s Sunday morning and that’s the perfect time to be lazy.
No, it’s because I’m on morphine.
Okay, I should back up a bit and explain that.
A couple of weeks ago, my jaw started hurting - and it just kept getting worse.
I could barely open my mouth. Moving it at all was uncomfortable. The pain was becoming completely unbearable.
So I called the doctor Monday morning, saw her Monday afternoon, and got a couple of prescriptions filled.
She diagnosed me with an acute TMJ flare-up. And it hurts like a motherfucker.
It hurts so much that she handed me a slip for morphine to help me get through it.
And it’s definitely helping.
It’s some seriously powerful stuff. It dulls the pain to a whisper and gives me the relief I needed.
It makes me feel groggy and miserable, though. I’m not a fan of it at all. But I’ll take it over feeling like my jaw is trying to twist itself into a knot.
In fact, I had a bit of a realization when I took my prescription to the pharmacy.
Some time ago, I hit a medication tipping point.
Getting new meds used to be exciting.
I’m chronically ill, so my body’s held together with popsicle sticks and a handful of capsules.
And those pills used to be kind of fun.
They’d give me motivation. I’d feel like I was drifting through my day on a cloud.
Sometimes I’d hit the jackpot and get on meds that made me supernaturally horny.
I was so aroused you’d think I just got a lapdance from a goth girl with thick thighs. But nope, I was just taking whatever my doctor thought would help me.
Maybe it was just my brain getting really excited from the sudden rush of hormones.
Or maybe it took away all my symptoms and uncovered the real me - who just happens to be a horny little freak.
I don’t know why it happened. All I know is that I miss it.
Because getting a new prescription really isn’t that exciting anymore.
I’m not hitting those highs. I’m not getting turned on every time I hear a dirty turn of phrase, see a guy roll up his shirt sleeves, or peep a cute girl in short shorts.
Case in point, the meds I’m on now.
They’re getting me through it, but I’m glad I only have to take them temporarily.
Because there’s no way to have any kind of mojo with this stuff in my system.
Mostly, I just feel drowsy, sleepy, and really out of it.
Which could be fun and sexy in its own way.
I’ve got my fair share of sleepy sex fantasies. I’ve watched so much sleep porn that I should only be getting targeted ads for Nyquil at this point. And there’s something really sweet and cozy about spending a Sunday morning lazily fooling around in bed.
And because I’m drowsy and my mouth’s out of commission, it’d be the perfect excuse to be a total pillow princess. I could just lie there and enjoy all the things my body is capable of experiencing.
But this isn’t that kind of sleepy.
I’m just zonked.
So I’m going to head back to bed, sink into a pile of pillows, and sleep the rest of the morning away.
And if you want to crawl back in bed too, go right ahead. That’s what Sunday mornings are for.
Love,
Emma ❤
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Let’s get cozy! 🥰
We're in our boring era!
This week, we're having a cozy chat about physical media, daily walks, and growing our hammock family!
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