How often do you feel sexy?
When you look in the mirror, do you see what’s cute, sexy, and attractive about you?
What about when you fuck? Do you feel like you’ve got it? Do you keep worrying about your performance?
Do you get inhibited even though all you want to do is let go and be cute, naughty, dirty, and downright filthy sometimes?
That was me. I had sex but I never felt like I was good at it - or that I could even be good at it if I tried.
I didn’t feel attractive and exposing my body didn’t turn me on - it made me feel embarrassed.
I had zero sexual self-esteem.
It made sex less fun and it meant I didn’t like myself as much as I should have.
The worst thing is, I was convinced that was permanent. I thought there was nothing I could do about it. Because some girls have just got it. And others, like me, don’t.
We can’t feel cute because we’re not cute. We can’t be sexy because we’re not sexy. And we can’t be really fucking hot in bed because that’s for girls who are TV pretty and have as much confidence as a dude.
But holy hell was I ever wrong!
It took me years to discover I could actually do something about that. It didn’t matter that I was a super shy girl, a frumpy housewife, and an uncool mom. I could still be cute and be good in bed.
And I’m glad I realized that because pumping up my sexual self-esteem is one of the best things I’ve ever done.
It helped me accept my body and even fall in love with some parts of it.
It’s how I embraced my (very middle-y, bashful) version of cute.
It’s what got me out of my head and let me fuck like a dirty girl instead of feeling like I couldn’t pull it off.
I’m still shy. I’m still a mom with too many kids. And I’m a complete dork - I mean, I have a podcast for fuck’s sake.
But none of that stops me from being my sexiest self anymore.
That’s what I want for everyone. If I could wave a wand and give every lady out there a maximum dose of sexual self-esteem, I would do it in a heartbeat.
But I can’t. The best I can do is share what worked for me and give some tips for embracing your sexy side.
So, that’s exacly what I did today.
Porn is really simple. It’s hot, arousing, and just plain fun. It’s entertainment mixed with fantasy.
But the way people talk about it, you would think watching porn is like smoking cigarettes - something that’s shameful and harmful.
That’s the message people send when they’re quick to worry about what porn is teaching people.
So, I wrote a ranty article in response to the people who hold porn up to a standard it never asked to be measured by.
People DM me for advice about all sorts of things. But there are a few common themes.
Guys want to know if their dick is big enough.
I hear from gals who want advice dealing with vaginismus.
And men and women both ask me how to make a lady squirt.
And I decided to answer the third in a new article on the best technique to make a woman squirt.
And this week on the podcast, Jake put me to the test with a porn name game he created! It was really tough, but I think I did okay!
My articles are behind a paywall, but all of the links in this section are Friend Links. That means you can read them for free even without a Medium Membership!
A Personal Favorite
I have a lot of memories attached to music. Hearing a song can take me back to a special moment in my life.
I remember the music I listened to when I cuddled with Mr. Austin when we were still a new couple. There are songs that remind me of really hot sex I’ve had. Some songs take me back to less pleasant memories, too.
This article was a really personal one about the music that soundtracked some of the significant moments in my life.
I really like the way this one turned out. What do you think?
If you want to get yourself a little something fun, here are some companies I love supporting!
If you’re trying to squirt, trying to make your partner squirt, or just so happen to squirt, you need a Liberator Fascinator Throw. I don’t know why I took so long to get one because I consider it a necessity now. Get one from Betty’s Toy Box and use the code LOVEEMMA to save 10% on your entire order!
I love bondage and domination, but I also love things that are cute and colorful. It’s a combination that can be really hard to find in porn, which is why I was really drawn to Bubblegum Dungeon. It’s just what it sounds like - a porn series that combines BDSM with a bubbly aesthetic. Join Adult Time to get full access to it and use the code LOVEEMMA to save 20% on your first 30 days!
If you want a really fun way to stroke a dick (your own or your partner’s), try out a Tenga Spinner. It’s a super cool and highly stimulating stroker that rotates as you pump it up and down. Get it from Naughty North and use the code LOVEEMMA to save 10% on your order!
These are all affiliate links by the way. If you click them and make a purchase (or use one of my discount codes), I earn a small commission on the sale and you will be supporting my work.
Pillow Talk with Emma Austin
I'm terrible with names. I'm even worse with titles.
So, it's kind of unfair that Jake made me play a name game this week. He puts my knowledge of Pure Taboo porn titles to the test - and I think I did pretty well!
We also share my Coke Zero hack, talk about the Bad Uncle cinematic universe, reminisce about the combination sushi hut and mini putt, and investigate The Pickle.
And we've finally returned to our roots as a bedroom-based podcast!
New Friends With Benefits Episode!
This week, my Friends With Benefits got access to a bonus episode of the Pillow Talk podcast where I talk about the ways that Prozac has affected my sex life. There’s been some ups and downs, but also some intense horniness and extended mindblowing sex!
If you want to hear it (and get two bonus Pillow Talk episodes every month), head on over to our Patreon and become one of our Friends With Benefits!
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