Y'all boinking like Easter bunnies or what? 🐇🤭
Hi!
You know what I love in theory?
Special occasion sex.
Like, doing it because it’s a holiday. Fucking each other’s brains out because you hit a cute little relationship milestone. Or just getting all frisky because you want to put a nice little naked bow on a special night.
There’s something sweet and playful about it. It’s a nice day and sex is a nice thing, so they go hand in hand - or maybe hand in pants. It just sort of makes sense.
But I’m not a big fan of it in practice.
Okay, scratch that.
I am a huge fan of special occasion sex in practice.
It’s just that I almost never get to enjoy it. Because special days don’t usually overlap with my sexy days.
Either I’m so stressed, tired, and overstimulated from preparing and enjoying the celebrations that I’m all worn out. I don’t want to go to the Bone Zone. I just want to flop on my bed and wait for sleep to take me.
Or I get a little panicky. I see the date coming on the calendar and I start to feel it creeping in. My mortal enemy.
I hear it whispering in my ear like some rude little hussy.
Like, “Oh look it’s Valentine’s Day. You should probably get your husband to cook a nice dinner and then fuck him until he passes out.”
Or “Aw, it’s his birthday. Why not do something naughty you don’t do that often for him? Maybe oil up your boobs and give him a slippery tittyfuck. Try stuffing his balls in your mouth - they might just fit. Or stick with a classic and do some buttstuff.”
Anniversaries are probably the worst offender. “I mean, it’s your anniversary. At least let him finger you or something.”
See? Told you. Totally rude.
All those sexpectationy thoughts swimming in my head don’t make me want to open my legs - they make me want to close up shop.
And Jake if you’re reading this, I’m sorry but my internal sex clock just doesn’t work that way. Love you, though! 😘
Anyway, that’s why it almost never happens.
Which is too bad because I honestly love how playful it could be.
Like right now, it’s Easter.
Which means I could be wearing some cute fuzzy bunny ears while getting banged.
Or I could get one of those fluffy cottontail buttplugs and really go all out.
I could get all energized from eating too much chocolate and bunnyhop on his dick like a desperate little rabbit.
But nah.
Maybe someday it’ll all work. I’ll get the cute outfits. I’ll do some kind of fun little roleplay. I’ll fuck so hard I need two days just to recover.
I’m not there yet, though.
So for now, I’ll just enjoy all the cute lewd girls in their barely-there bunny outfits.
I might watch some really fun Easter themed porn - though maybe not on Easter itself.
And then I’ll probably flop down in my bed and wait for sleep to come take me.
Love,
Emma ❤
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Where did all my sunshine go? 🥺
We traced the cockblock... It's coming from inside the house!
This week, we're talking about depression and all the fun ways it messes with our sex life!
Also: Shamrock Shakes, using porn to get serotonin, and why March is impulsive home haircut season!
Check out the show notes for relevant links. And if you love the show, don’t forget to rate and review it on Apple Podcasts! 🖤
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