Welcome to Cockblock City 😬🥀
Hi!
Since moving into this new place, my Mr. Austin and I have been solving all sorts of problems.
Kitchen’s barely got any cupboards? Nothing a few new pantries can’t fix.
Not sure where to put all the towels? All it takes is a few pieces of lumber to convert the hallway closet into a linen closet.
One of the bedrooms doesn’t have a heater? Okay, we actually called in an electrician for that one - no sense in messing with wires when we don’t know what we’re doing.
But there’s one problem I still haven’t fully cracked.
All the damn cockblocking.
It’s a natural byproduct of having four kids and stuffing them all into a fairly modest house. Because that makes it tough to get all the things I need to be in the mood and do something about it.
Privacy. Some quiet time. A low risk of getting interrupted.
Sure, I can shut and lock the bedroom door. But it doesn’t take long before one of the younger kids comes knocking on it - usually to describe a dream they had in painful detail or tell me what they want for Christmas even though the snow just finished melting.
Other times, I can’t stay in my head because all I hear is the kids bicker over who’s turn it is on the Switch. Or fighting about which couch cushion they want to sit on. Really pointless stuff that apparently means the world to them.
And they apparently need snacks every seventeen minutes - then inevitably spill something moments later.
So, it’s always loud and busy.
And when it’s calm and quiet, it’s suspicious.
Which makes it really hard to get in the zone, yaknow?
Honestly, if it wasn’t for my trusty showerhead I don’t think I’d ever have the opportunity to feel anything properly stimulating.
There’s still the night, though. That classic sex time, when everyone’s shut away in their rooms and you can make the bed squeak and creak all you want.
Except not really.
Because our youngest is a light sleeper, and he has zero tolerance for us making noise whatsoever. Even when we’re not rattling the headboard and we’re just having a quiet conversation or trying to shoo the cat off the tablet we’re using to watch reality shows, he still tells us to pipe down.
We tried to fix that by getting a white noise machine for him - I mean for the kid, not the cat. But he likes to keep it to a very gentle roar. Which means we can’t really moan and growl the way we want to.
So yeah, it’s Cockblock City over here.
We’re all metaphorically on top of each other. Which means I don’t get to be literally underneath my husband.
I’m still trying to figure out how to solve this. Preferably without having to build a She Shed that doubles as a cozy goon cave.
Until I do, every day is full of missed opportunities and every evening is a total gamble.
But hey, at least the linen closet’s coming together nicely.
Love,
Emma ❤
P.S. If you’ve got any tips for how to keep your marriage spicy while you’ve got kids at home, lay’em on me! I could use them!
This Week’s New Articles
Living in Cockblock City might be easier if I had a boatload of energy. Too bad I sure don’t!
Sex positivity is awesome! But beware the people who want to use it against you!
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We’re back in business, baby! 😎
It's been a while!
This week, we're checking in to tell you where we've been and what we've been up to!
Also: moving drama, renovation nightmares, and getting cockblocked left and right!
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