Thought I learned my lesson, but here I go again 😅🧶

Nov 12, 2023

Hi!

I need to keep my hands busy at all times. I feel restless when they don’t have anything to do.

I also really like making stuff. Somewhere deep inside me is a girl with a craft addiction who was never allowed to shine.

Which is why I picked up knitting last year.

And once I got the hang of it, it felt like just the hobby I needed.

It was the perfect way to keep my fingers moving. I could zone into it and let a couple of hours melt away. I’d have hats for every kid, scarves for days, and once I got good I could even start making big comfy sweaters.

Except I never had a chance to get good. My body gave in before I could get there.

It’s because I never know when to quit. I also don’t notice the aches and soreness when I’m really dialed into what I’m doing.

Knitting really did a number on me. My shoulders were in pain after a knitting stint. The healing process was slow and it just kept getting worse.

So, I had to put away the needles, throw the yarn in the closet, and try to find a new hobby that wouldn’t make me feel like I dislocated both shoulders.

I tried a few things here and there.

I made cloud lights until I had no more room for them.

I painted everything that could use a bit of color.

I discovered how enjoyable grownup Lego can be, though it’s way too expensive to make a habit out of it.

And now - well, now I’m back on my grandmacore bullshit.

Look, I couldn’t keep those needles down forever. I’d ignore them for a couple of weeks at a time, but as soon as I got bored they’d start calling my name again.

So, I decided to give it another go.

I’ve been kitting again. And I bought a set of crochet needles so I can give that a shot, too.

And goddamn does it ever feel right. I feel like I was made for this. I can foresee a rocking chair and a big basket full of yarn in my future.

I know it’s risky, though. I’ve been hurt before.

But I’m going to try to make sure knitting doesn’t betray me this time.

I’m working in more breaks. I’m watching my posture. I’m putting it away as soon as I feel any discomfort whatsoever.

Because as much as I love messing around with yarn, I can’t afford to fuck up my back and my wrists any more than they are.

I already have to modify a lot of sex positions because my joints aren’t what they used to be.

Doggy can be tough but at least I can still go face down, ass up. And I really don’t want to have to lose that too.

I’d use my sex chair and my wedges even if I didn’t need them. But I’d rather not fuck up my body so bad that I even have to be careful on the sex furniture.

So I’m trying to be really mindful. I’m going easier on the knitting and I’m really hoping it’ll go easy on me in return.

Because I want to be able to make all those adorable sweaters I keep dreaming of.

I want to drape them over and feel super cozy and cute in them. I want to make one so big I don’t even have to wear pants with it.

But I also want to be able to get pounded from the back while I’m wearing them, so I’ve got to take it slow and steady. Because it’d be a real shame to put in that much work and not get all the benefits.

Love,
Emma ❤

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