Sometimes the porn just sucks 😂 (watch this instead! 🔥)
Hi!
I was going to have a new review out this week. But it never happened.
I had everything lined up. I’d sit down to watch a feature-length porn film and today I’d be telling you why it was awesome, sexy, entertaining, and worth getting off to.
But nope. I come empty handed. Or rather, I didn’t come at all.
Because the porn I was going to watch, it just wasn’t any good. I really wanted to enjoy it. I looked for positives. I even let two whole scenes play before giving up on it.
It didn’t work. Nothing about it turned me on. It wasn’t even funny or entertaining.
I could think of all sorts of things I could write about it - but none of them were very nice.
Like how the star tried so hard to have a kind of sleazy charisma - and how it just came across as trashy instead.
Or the fact way none of the secondary characters seemed entirely sure what role they were supposed to be playing.
And I would have to mention the way they chose to transition between scenes. I don’t know the name of the effect they used, but they were just as cheesy as star wipes.
I’m usually willing to put up with over the top acting and a couple of aggressively gaggy blowjobs - but not for this.
So, yeah, I could write about it. But I won’t. Because I prefer to play nice.
Actually, playing nice is kind of a personal policy. I don’t write negative reviews.
I’ll never pretend to like something if I don’t genuinely enjoy it. I always give my completely honest opinion.
If I’m not into something, I just won’t mention it.
I won’t even name the movie I tried to watch yesterday. Though I really wish you could see those scene transitions and send me snarky comments about them.
I don’t post negative stuff because I know it’s all subjective.
A gaggy blowbang that makes me uncomfortable is 100% going to be someone else’s fantasy. A storyline that makes me cringe is going to make someone else laugh. A scene that turns me off is going to make some people so wet or hard that they’re going to keep going back to it.
I have no interest in being snobby about any of that. I don’t want to trash something that does a great job of turning someone on. I don’t want to give something a big thumbs down just because it doesn’t match my kinks.
I just want to share the things I love and why I’m into them.
And that’s exactly what I thought I was going to do today - until I hit play and my day took a complete 180.
So, I have no new porn to review. To make up for it, I’m going to give you a few recommendations for porn so good I’d rewatch it in a heartbeat.
A Few Pure Taboo Scenes
I’m going to kick this off with Pure Taboo. I talk about it a lot - so much that Jake once created a whole game around my love of it.
It’s just got everything I love in porn. Great production value. Storylines that you don’t want to skip. And a bit of dubious consent that’s not too fucked up for my liking.
I’ve watched The Bad Uncle and The Bad Uncle Returns repeatedly because of that. The consent in these is definitely on the more dubious side, but it still does it for me.
Then there’s Please Be Gentle. I love seeing Tommy Pistol on screen, but I especially get hot for this one because he plays a dad with a sweet disposition - who uses it to seduce a virgin.
The Aural Doll is really fucking good too. It’s got Tommy Pistol again, but it’s the scene that made me fall in love with Whitney Wright. She’s amazing in this - and after seeing them have a threesome with a sex doll, I honestly don’t know how anyone could resist getting one.
Whitney Wright is also incredible in It Slipped In. That’s one I discussed on a Patreon-exclusive bonus episode of my podcast, but I probably should have recommended it on the main feed. It’s got revenge, fauxcest, and Carolina Sweets playing an innocent girl having her first time in a threeway - everything you’d want from a scene.
Hot Outdoor Sex
The Horny Hiking account is one of the best things on Pornhub.
It’s run by Molly and Conor Pills and it’s just them having some fun adventures. Going on road trips, exploring beautiful outdoor locations, and fucking in them.
They’re fun. They’re cute togehter. And Molly has the kind of ass that leggings were invented for.
Sensual Massage Porn
When I got access to Adult Time, I didn’t realize I was also unlocking a huge collection of super arousing massage porn.
I love everything about it. The sensual rubdowns. The shiny, oily bodies. The slowly escalating foreplay. The tacticle experience I can enjoy vicariously.
Depending on my mood, I’ll for all-girl massage porn, family roleplay massages, or massages with consensual non-consent roleplay mixed in.
Hot BBW Porn
I love big girls, but I don’t often look for BBW porn. Not because the girls don’t do it for me - it’s the production.
For whatever reason, BBW porn studios don’t usually make aesthetically pleasing porn.
Except for Shape of Beauty. It’s what I wish all BBW porn could be - hot chubby girls in high-quality scenes.
Playful and Colorful Porn
The first time I paid for porn, it was because of Cherry Crush.
Her videos were just so alluring. I couldn’t resist. Most of them have a soft, colorful, pastel aesthetic that is simply gorgeous. It really speaks to the middle in me.
Then there’s Cherry Crush herself. She’s jaw-droppingly cute. And she fucks and sucks in an incredibly playful way - like she literally makes giving a blowjob look like playing a game.
It inspired me to suck dick better - that alone was worth the monthly membership price.
Super Authentic Sex
The Bellesa House series is all about pornstars having authentic sex with each other.
It’s ladies’ choice - they get to pick who they’ll fuck. And they bang it out in any way they want. No worrying about angles. No performing for the camera. Just getting it on while the cameras capture everyhting.
It’s always hot, but the scene with Tyler Nixon and Lacy Lennon is absolutely fire.
They had a missed connection and Lacy wants to give it another go. And it’s obvious why - they have great chemistry.
The One That Made Me Love Porn Parodies
Cruel Intention was basically a 90-minute sexual awakening for me.
It did a lot of things to me as a young lady. And now that I’m an adult, I can get turned on by the porn version too.
I assumed the porn parody would be silly and goofy, but I was skpetical that it would actually be sexy.
Well, it was. Big time. They recreated all the hottest parts of Cruel Intentions but scrapped the R rating and went right for a hardcore threesome.
It’s missing the anal sex that was implied in the storyline, but it’s got Whitney Wright playing a naive virgin so that totally makes up for it.
This Week’s New Articles
I guess not every girl knows this, but guys want to look at your asshole.
Okay, not a lot of guys. But a lot of them. Maybe most of them.
Some are going to get super fucking turned on by it too.
As someone who doesn’t mind seeing a cute girl’s asshole, I kind of get it. But I know a lot of women find it strange.
So, I did a little digging and found four reasons why so many guys find it really arousing to get a peek between your cheeks.
I’m an over-preparer. I want to be ready for any situation.
Which is why I started thinking about a sex bag as soon as I started dating again.
Dating might lead to sex. And that sex probably wouldn’t be happening at my place - on account of my husband and kids.
So, I’d need a bag of all my sex essentials that I could bring with me anywhere I went.
This week, I put together a list of items you’ll need when you’re packing a sex bag of your own.
Getting a pussy massage is one of my favorite things in the world.
It’s stimulating, sensual, and incredibly pleasurable.
In fact, it’s so fucking good that it makes me want to repay the favor.
And the best way to show that gratitude is by giving a cock massage.
If you ever want to pamper a dick, this is a great way to do it.
Enjoy!
Love,
Emma ❤
My Naughty Halloween Special! 🔥
What’s a slutty maid supposed to do when she comes across a sex machine in her client’s home?
Well, she just has to let it fuck her, doesn’t she?
And when the man of the house shows up unexpectedly - well, maybe he can fuck her too.
It’s my first Halloween since I started filming porn! So, I put on my maid costume and made a 25 minute special.
It’s got some machine sex, fuck machine action with a cock in my mouth, my pussy getting eaten while it also gets fucked by a dildo, some bent-over sex, ass-centric cowgirl, and a cumshot all over my ass to end it all.
If you like bad cheesy action and lots of fucking, you should totally check it out!
You can buy it from my clip store.
Or you can sign up to my JustForFans page and get access to that video and all of my other explicit content!
Come a Little Bit Harder! 💦
If you want to get yourself a little something fun, here are some companies I love supporting!
I’ve tried a lot of sex toys this year, but one of my absolute favorites is still the Pillow Talk Sultry. It’s a cute little waterproof wand that I almost always take it with me to the bath. If you want to try it for yourself, you can get it from Betty’s Toy Box and use the code LOVEEMMA to save 15% on your entire order!
I made a big discovery recently. Anal vibrations are fucking incredible. I got myself a tail buttplug because I thought it’d be really cute and fun. But then the vibrations helped me come so fucking hard that I practically forgot I was supposed to be a horny unicorn. I highly recommend it! Get one from Naughty Betty’s and use the code LOVEEMMA to save 15% on your entire order!
As amazing as those anal vibrations are, I don’t think anything makes me come quite as hard as a good suction toy. The one I use the most is the Sila by Lelo. It’s small, easy to hold, comfortable to use - and it gives me orgasms that are out of this fucking world!
These are all affiliate links by the way. If you click them and make a purchase (or use one of my discount codes), I earn a small commission on the sale and you will be supporting my work.
The Sexiest Seinfeld Podcast in Town! 😂
Did you know that I now have two podcasts?
There’s Pillow Talk, the weekly sex podcast I host with Mr. Austin.
And now there’s What’s the Deal With Fucking? That’s also me and Mr. Austin. And we also talk about sex. But specifically, sex on Seinfeld!
We released the second episode to Patreon this week, and we’ve got dozens more to go. Seinfeld was a really horny show, it turns out!
If you want to join us on this trip through the sexy side of Seinfeld, you can listen along by becoming one of our Friends With Benefits!
That will also give you early access to our main feed episodes and two monthly bonus Pillow Talk episodes - including our soon to be released Slutoween video episode!
See you there! 😘
It’s 69 O’Clock 😏
This week, we celebrate our 69th episode by getting into one of our most controversial topics so far!
We’re talking about 69ing - the pros, the cons, and whether it’s even sensible for adults to be climbing on top of each other like that.
Also: getting cranky about Coca Cola Zero Sugar, throaty dick stabs, and cranberry flavored lube!
Check out the show notes for relevant links. And if you love the show, consider rating and reviewing it on Apple Podcasts or anywhere else!
Connect With Me!
Want to connect with me?
You can follow me on Instagram and Twitter.
Check out the Pillow Talk Patreon page for early access and exclusive bonus episodes!
Go to my JustForFans page if you want to check out my hardcore porn videos!
Subscribe to my YouTube channel for some much less hardcore (but still super fun) videos!
And follow me on Medium!