In over two years of writing about sex and more than one year of podcasting, I’ve talked a lot about dubious consent porn and consensual non-consent fantasies.
But I don’t think I’ve ever once made mention of rape fantasies.
Partly that’s because it’s not the kind of language I like to throw around casually.
But it’s also because I don’t have any fantasies like that. I never get off to the thought of being violated, and I never get turned on by porn showing women who are forced into sex they don’t want.
And lately, I’ve been suspecting that I’m not alone. The more I read about people’s so-called rape fantasies, the less they seemed like rape fantasies at all.
But I never felt like I had the right language to describe the types of scenarios most women do fantasize about.
Consensual non-consent worked pretty well. But it didn’t get at what I thought was actually hot about those scenes.
Then I watched a YouTube video that made it all click for me.
Those fantasies aren’t about violence or violation. They’re about desire and ravishment.
This week, I wrote an article explaining why I don’t think we should refer to them as rape fantasies (unless they’re genuine rape fantasies). Instead, we should get at what they really are by calling them ravishment fantasies.
I also reviewed a very interesting toy this week. It’s the Arcwave Ion and it’s basically a new way to stimulate a cock.
The best way I can describe it is to say that it’s a clit sucker for cocks.
And it might have just unlocked a new kind of orgasm for men.
Are you comfortable being naked around your partner?
I wasn’t for a really long time. Like, not at all.
I’d never change with him in the room. I kept my shirt on during sex. Even if I was horny in the afternoon, I’d wait until it was pitch black before fucking.
After a while, I got really sick of it. This week, I shared some of the things I did to get over it and start showing myself off more.
When I think of sexual frustration, I don’t think of not getting laid. I think of getting laid but not being able to come.
That was happening to me a lot for a while. All of Mr. Austin’s normally reliable moves couldn’t give me the orgasm I wanted.
Eventually, I figured out exactly what I needed. And it’s the first thing anyone should try when they’re having a hard time getting a woman off.
And this week on the Pillow Talk podcast, Jake and I go wrist deep into fisting!
My articles are behind a paywall, but all of the links in this section are Friend Links. That means you can read them for free even without a Medium Membership.
If you want to get yourself a little something fun, here are some companies I love supporting!
My favorite way to explore ravishment and consensual non-consent fantasies is through Pure Taboo. It’s dark. The consent is highly dubious. And it’s incredibly arousing. Use the code LOVEEMMA to get access to it and all of Adult Time for 20% off for 30 days!
Curious about the Arcwave Ion? I am. I kind of wish I had a dick so I could stick it in and find out what it feels like. Instead, I got to watch Mr. Austin use it while I marveled at how new and novel it all seemed. Get one from Betty’s Toy Box and use the code LOVEEMMA to save 10% on your entire order!
Fun fact: men have plenty of ravishment fantasies, too. Porn is full of it - teachers taking advantage of young lads, stepsisters pressuring them to help them be better at sex, lonely stepmoms who are just too horny to resist their athletic stepsons. It’s all over the Nubiles Porn network. Check out Teacher Fucks Teen and Moms Teach Sex to see for yourself.
These are all affiliate links by the way. If you click them and make a purchase (or use one of my discount codes), I earn a small commission on the sale and you will be supporting my work.
Pillow Talk with Emma Austin
You'd honestly be surprised how much you can fit in there.
This week on Pillow Talk, we go wrist deep into the world of fisting!
Jake reveals his fist-fucking misconceptions and my less than ideal experiences being on the receiving end of it.
We bust loose pussy myths, what it would take for me to fall in love with getting fisted, and we also bring up teabagging and tentacle dildos because why not?
And we share a story about us having remote control sex (but not the fun Lovense kind).
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