Maybe this is totally inappropriate, but I can't help it 🔥🥵
Hi!
I have no idea if this is disrespectful or inappropriate or what, but here goes.
I’d kind of like to fuck an Amish guy.
Or an Amish lady - that’d be especially hot.
I’d be cool with some kind of Amish threeway, too.
I know that getting frisky with some married woman with purple hair goes against every single one of their principles. I’m sure they’d get shunned for at least a good six months.
But I just can’t help it.
Those outfits are just too damn attractive.
The women in their long, hip-hugging dresses and cute little bonnets.
The men in their dapper shirts, sexy suspenders, and straw hats.
It’s enough to make anyone thirsty.
Plus there’s that naive back country innocence. You’d have to teach them how to do everything - and well, I get hella turned on just thinking about that.
But sadly, it’s just one of the many fantasies I’ll never get to actually play out.
Instead, I’ve just been watching every season of Breaking Amish and Return to Amish - very respectfully, I promise. I just want to see them fight over petty rumors, witchcraft accusations, and which of the ex-Amish aren’t Amish enough. And then later I fantasize about random hot people in Amish clothes that I make up in my mind.
I’ve also watched every single Amish porn scene I could find, which is sadly not all that many.
There’s porn of everything, so you’d think there’d be new Amish roleplay videos popping up every month or two. But nope, apparently I’m the only one looking at Amish outfits like they’re lingerie.
And actually, that’s what I’m hung up on right now.
If I can’t fuck an Amish hottie, then I want to be the Amish hottie.
I really, really want to get my hands on an Amish dress so I can get plowed in it - preferably on a semi-regular basis.
Not a cheap costume, either. I want the real deal.
I want a nice dress that’s been hand sewn. With sturdy natural materials that won’t rip when it gets torn off my body. And the bonnet, too - gotta have the bonnet.
And if Mr. Austin can be decked out in some authentic Amish menswear, even better.
I’m not saying getting fucked in an Amish dress while pretending I didn’t even know you could do it in the butt would fix me.
But it’s definitely worth a shot.
Love,
Emma ❤
This Week’s New Articles
Christmas is so much better with naughty adult gifts! These are my personal recommendations for great toys to leave under the tree and stuff in your stocking!
I’ve got love for every dildo, but getting these was kind of a mistake.
Can I interest you in something spicy? 🍑
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Listen up, homewreckers! 🤭
No, you can’t just offer to blow him.
This week, we’re going over tips for seducing a married man - even though you really shouldn’t do that!
Also: the pickle poutine, the hero instinct, and the guys who can’t even pick up on your flirting.
Check out the show notes for relevant links. And if you love the show, don’t forget to rate and review it on Apple Podcasts! 🖤
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