Let's set the facts straight 🎥
Hi!
Have you noticed how porn negativity is still really common?
We all watch it. We all get off to it. A lot of us are happy to applaud OnlyFans creators for creating their own small businesses.
But whenever porn comes up in articles about sex and relationships, it’s almost always attached with a warning.
There’s talk about porn causing erectile dysfunction.
Guys who struggle with delayed ejaculation are told to quit porn before they do anything else. Sometimes they’re told that’s all they have to do.
Anytime there’s talk about guys being bad at sex, the first hypothesis is that they learned their moves from porn.
Porn is sometimes treated as the culprit for sexless relationships and low sex drive.
And then there’s the whole concept of porn addiction and the havoc that supposedly causes.
Those claims are everywhere. And they all seem kind of made up.
None of it reflects the way porn has affected my life. It doesn’t match up with my husband’s experience of it, either.
Our relationship is stronger than it has ever been and we’re both watching more porn than we have in a long time.
And I just haven’t read any compelling accounts of people really being harmed by porn use (their own or their partner’s).
So, I decided to do some research. What I found didn’t surprise me, but it did turn the whole “dangers of porn” narrative on its head.
Basically, porn is fine. It’s not harmful. It doesn’t damage your well-being, your relationship, or your sex life.
When porn does affect people, it’s usually for the better. It’s been shown to result in more sexual satisfaction, better communication about sex, and it can make masturbation more pleasurable.
That doesn’t fit the common narrative about porn. But that narrative is strongly influenced by religious conservative groups and people who profit from treating supposed porn addiction.
I’m not going to get into those broader topics. But I did want to address porn on the small scale: how it affects couples.
Today, I published an article debunking the five most common myths about porn and its effects on relationships. I also give a bit of advice on how couples can make porn a healthy part of their lives.
This week, I also wrote about:
Leaving the lights on during sex. This is one of my favorite recent posts and the idea for it basically came to me in a dream. I woke up in the night and started tapping it out on my phone. It’s a very short piece that’s in a style I don’t normally write in. It touches on body shame, insecurity, and the ways that we keep ourselves from having better sex.
The perks of having sex with a shy girl. Everyone talks about shyness like it’s a problem that needs to be overcome. But as someone who is very attracted to shy girls, I wanted to give the other side of the story. Because being shy can be a good thing, too.
Being called a slut during sex. It’s definitely not for everyone, but it can be a turn-on for some women. I wanted to explore why that is and why you shouldn’t use language like that with just anyone you’re fucking.
And on the newest episode of Pillow Talk, Jake and I go over our favorite sexual positions.
Enjoy!
Love,
Emma ❤
Treat Yourself
If you want to get yourself a little something fun, here are some companies I love supporting.
Fucking yourself with sex toys is fun - getting fucked by them is even better. That’s why I love playing with the Velvet Mini Teddy Thruster. The silicone on it has an incredible feel and the suction cup makes it a versatile toy. I got mine from Betty’s Toy Box - use the code LOVEEMMA at checkout to save 10% on your entire order.
When you use a thruster or any other kind of dildo, make sure you’ve got some really good water-based lube to go with it. My current favorite is Sliquid Sassy. It’s designed for anal sex but it works really well for almost any kind of play. You can get it from Naughty North - LOVEEMMA gets you 10% off your entire order from them, too.
And if you think April O’Neil is as cute as I think she is, you should definitely try out Adult Time and watch her in plenty of hardcore secenes. Use the code LOVEEMMA to save 20% off your 30-day membership.
These are all affiliate links by the way. If you click them and make a purchase (or use one of my discount codes), I earn a small commission on the sale and you will be supporting my work.
My Latest Medium Posts
These are the articles I published this week on Medium. They're all Friend Links so you can read them for free, even without a Medium Membership.
From Love, Emma
Sex is a cornerstone of my marriage, but it wasn’t always that way. Sex used to be rare for us. Like, really rare. But even through years of sexlessness, we never came close to calling it quits.
In this piece from my blog Love, Emma, I talk about the things that kept us going even when we stopped having sex.
Pillow Talk with Emma Austin
I love variety when it comes to sex but there are a few positions that I keep going back to.
This week, Jake and I talk about our favorite sex positions. We each share our current Top 4 and discover that we have surprisingly little overlap.
We also talk about Jake struggling to find JOI porn, positions that showcase your best bits, getting into a good rhythm, my sex leg, and the position we've attempted lots of times but rarely pulled off.
Check out the show notes for relevant links. And if you love the show, consider rating and reviewing it on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Podchaser, or anywhere else!
Something Spicy
I think every submissive person has a thing for authority figures.
That’s one of the reasons I loved going to university. I had so many hot professors.
I did my work diligently. I knew they could tell I was a really good student.
But I fantasized about them treating me like a good girl.
Here’s a little something from my horny imagination.
Spanked by My Pedantic Professor
Madame Delacroix is really strict when it comes to the rules. If I make any grammatical mistakes on my paper, she calls me into her office.
She isn’t like my other professors. She’s not afraid to teach me a lesson.
And she knows I’m going to love every second of it.
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