I've got a sex cabinet, but you probably shouldn't have one 😅😳
Hi!
I want to show you something real quick.
But before you look at it, I have to warn you - it’s messy stuff.
Barely any organization. Just stuff strewn around, piled together by theme but not much else.
Even the photo kind of sucks. Less of a glamor shot and more of a half-hearted phone pic.
Are you ready?
Don’t judge me, okay?
That’s the inside of my sex toy cabinet.
It’s where I store all sorts of naughty stuff so I can keep it locked up tight.
I’ve been meaning to reorganize it. But I’ve been meaning to do a lot of things and this one isn’t super high on the list.
That’s not all of it, either.
I'm not showing you the toys in my nightstand drawer that I'm in the process of trying out.
You can’t see the fuckmachines I’ve got stacked in the nearby closet - which also locks, by the way.
Oh and down in the basement, I've got a big sex chair, a super fun sex platform that wobbles and rocks, and a big-ass wedge to wedge under my big ass for some super comfortable and pleasurable action.
But I really wanted to show you the cabinet. Because it’s completely absurd.
Like, how did I get to this point in my life?
Somehow, I’ve become a person who is constantly trying to figure out new ways to store my butt dolls so they’re out of the way - but still accessible when I want to spank and finger them.
I’ve got a Balldo on hand, an assortment of buttplugs near it, and so many clit suckers I get their names confused.
And don’t even get me started on the lubes - I can barely keep track of all those.
It’s just plain fucking ridiculous.
And I honestly hope that comes across when I’m writing about this stuff.
I don’t want to give the impression that this is normal in any way. Because it’s really not.
I’ve tried to be careful about that.
I don’t do sex toy hauls, for example. Mainly because I really struggle in front of the camera. But also because I'm not actually going on shopping sprees to buy an assortment of vibrators like they were snacks at Bulk Barn - or whatever the equivalent is in the States.
Nah, I get this stuff sent to me so I can review them. They show up on my doorstep in plain brown boxes and I pray the friendly mail woman can’t tell what’s in them.
I play with them, take notes, play with them again, and write about the whole thing. And then I keep promoting the ones I genuinely love.
Which is how a girl ends up with this whole cabinet situation.
And as fun as it can be to have shelves loaded with things that can help me come, I really don’t think anyone needs to have a big storage solution full of sex toys. Not unless that’s your main hobby and you have DIY sex dungeon money - in that case, rock on and get your rocks off.
But I know that this stuff can kind of worm its way into your mind, because it gets to me too.
I’ve felt like I needed to get a gua sha stone after seeing it in so many skincare routine videos.
I’ve window shopped ice cube trays in cute shapes after seeing freezer restock videos. I just knew a container full of frozen hearts and stars would be so aesthetically satisfying.
And when a TikToker announces that she’s about to tell me her latest Amazon essentials, I sit my ass down and listen.
After a while, those things can start to shift your baseline for what’s normal.
You start feeling self-conscious about your teeth because you haven’t traded in your life savings for shiny veneers.
You feel boring as hell because you don’t have a giant walk-in closet filled with meticulously organized hobby supplies.
You’re embarrassed by your scattered makeup supplies because you don’t regularly restock your vanity with new products in every shade available.
Or maybe you feel kind of dull because you don’t have cabinet that’s taller than you filled to the brim with fuckstuff.
Which would really suck. I mean, the main reason I started writing about sex is to help people feel good - not the opposite.
I like giving sex tips because I’ve needed tons of them in the past. Still do sometimes.
I dissect every sexual obstacle I can because I keep running into them and I know it can be hard to find help that doesn’t feel shamey.
I share things that turn me on because they excite me and I want to put that kind of positivity out in the world.
I love doing reviews because I want to help people find a toy that gets them off right. I’ve kissed so many vibrating frogs before finding my favorites, and if I can save anyone the trouble that’s awesome.
And yeah, slowly adding to your sex toy collection can be a lot of fun. It can genuinely enrich your sex life, too.
Like, a really good sex blanket is a total game changer.
Finding the Magic Wand that will buzz your clit just right is legitimately exciting. I have a strong preference for the Mini myself, but I’ll fuck around with the Unplugged if I’m in the mood for something extra powerful.
A soft, wet, stimulating stroker is a major upgrade from just beating off with your hand.
Dildos are fun as hell and they’re great for couples with cucking and tagteaming fantasies.
Sex dolls are a bit extravagant, for sure. But deep down in my heart of hearts I’m kind of a pervert. The things I do when I’ve got private time with one of my busty beauties is one of the reasons I’m glad I haven’t gone to confession since my parents stopped making me. They’re probably a bit much for some people, but the thrill I get from a jiggly torso doll makes finding room in the closet totally worth it.
And I know there are people out there who will feel like the Balldo is the answer to their prayers - so I tried it and reviewed it even though I’d much rather stroke balls than have them inside me.
But once you’ve fallen head over heels for a wand, you don’t need to stock up on seventeen more just for kicks.
You can have an adventurous sex life and leg-shaking solo sessions even if you don’t get new sex toys every month.
If you follow me, I might still show you my dildo shelf once in a while. Or my bin of butt toys. Maybe my messy tray of lubes and oils, if I ever manage to get it organized.
But that’s just because I don’t know how to keep anything to myself.
I’m an oversharer and my love language is giving you a little peek into my life. Even when parts of that life are kind of weird.
Anyway, I tried buying a gua sha stone but it came broken so I had to return it. My ice cube trays are all square - and empty because the kids keep stealing them before I can add them to my drink. And my makeup only gets replaced when it needs to be.
But the discreet packages keep coming, so I’ll keep refreshing the sex cabinet - even though it’s kinda ridiculous.
Love,
Emma ❤
P.S. If you’ve had to figure out some kind of setup to store your big ole collection of sex stuff, lemme know about it! I’m always curious to know how other people are dealing with their big piles of vibrating silicone!
This Week’s New Articles
Masturbation in relationships causes a lot of tensions - especially with mismatched sex drives. Here’s my advice on how to approach it!
Something fun I think you’d love! 😏
If you want to get yourself a little something fun, here’s a company I love supporting!
You know what else is kind of essential?
A really good sex wedge - especially a cute one like the Liberator Heart Wedge!
It’s the secret to deeper penetration, better pussy eating, and more comfortable sex!
If you want to try it out for yourself, get one from Betty’s Toy Box and use the code LOVEEMMA at checkout to save 15% on your entire order!
Those are all affiliate links, by the way. If you click them and make a purchase (or use one of my discount codes), I earn a small commission on the sale and you’ll be supporting my work.
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