Fingers crossed for a horny summer! 🤞🔥
Hi!
It’s ups and downs all the time over here. But I’m feeling a wee bit optimistic about this summer.
Because I’ve got a feeling it’ll be a horny one.
Like, moderately horny. Married horny, not dating horny. Let’s not get carried away.
But hornier than my winter’s been, and that’s something.
It’s too soon to tell, but there are a few things working in my favor.
First, the weather. I’ve already been spending a decent amount of time outside. As long as it’s not raining and we don’t have an air quality advisory, I keep walking my ass out the door.
I’ve been going on extra walks and taking the kids to the beach. Watering the garden and checking on my apple tree and flower pots. Chilling in my hammock so I can just listen to a book and enjoy the fresh air.
I’m basically a human daisy. I need full sun and proper hydration to thrive. And lately, I’ve been getting both.
I’ve also been able to chill with Mr. Austin a bit.
Not as much as I’d like to. He’s still too busy and we keep getting interrupted when we try to watch The Last of Us. But we’re in close quarters now, so we check in with each other, hang out when we can, and end every night by unwinding together.
It’s not much, but it’s nice. Makes me feel a bit closer to him and that always puts me in a good place.
But sunshine and a bit of quality time aren’t the real reasons I’m optimistic.
It’s because I’ve got a secret weapon.
On a whim, I decided to get some Tabs chocolates.
If you spend too much time on TikTok, you might’ve seen them. But they’re basically sex chocolates. You eat half a square and bam - you’re all horned up and down to fuck.
I got them because I figured it’d be fun to write about.
I love a good sexperiment, because you can’t lose. If it goes well, you get turned on, get off, and have a lot of fun. And if it doesn’t work - well, you don’t get all horny and sexually satisfied but you still have fun trying.
As long as no one gets hurt, you’re good.
And I couldn’t see myself getting injured from eating a bit of chocolate, so fuck it - I put in an order to see what all the fuss was about.
Well, now I know. The fuss is warranted. The sex chocolates work as advertised.
The first time I took them was a blast. I couldn’t remember the last time I got so horny - and I hadn’t done anything other than dose myself with this stuff.
It wasn’t a fluke, either. I tried them again and got the same results - horny, horny, horny.
So horny I even woke up in the middle of the night wishing I could get felt up.
It’s incredible. I still can’t believe how well the Tabs work. I should’ve tried them a long time ago, but I’m glad I’ve got them now.
Horny summer’s not a done deal, though. There are still a lot of things that can derail my sunny sexy time.
My TMJ’s been acting up a lot, which means a lot of discomfort, headaches, and time spent icing my jaw. Even if I could ignore the pain, it’s impossible to feel sexy when I’ve got a couple of icepacks strapped to my cheeks.
My in-laws will be around, too. That always sets my mojo back a few steps.
And of course, there’s all the usual stresses - trying not to get sick, getting upset at the state of the world, and groceries being insultingly expensive.
So, we’ll see. Could go either way.
But the sex chocolates have definitely tipped the scale. And they might just be the best way to get through the rainy days.
Love,
Emma ❤
This Week’s New Articles
Yeah, I’m kind of obsessed with Tabs right now - you’d be too if you experienced the kind of tingly horniness I did. Check out my review if you want all the details!
Something fun I think you’d love! 😏
If you want to get yourself a little something fun, here’s a company I love supporting!
I’m a total ho for realistic dildos, and I’ve been obsessed with the DaVinci!
This thing looks incredible, feels fucking fantastic, and is in the running for my favorite dildo of all time.
If you need a realistic dick in your life, you can get one from Betty’s Toy Box and use the code LOVEEMMA at checkout to get 15% off your entire order!
Those are all affiliate links, by the way. If you click them and make a purchase (or use one of my discount codes), I earn a small commission on the sale and you’ll be supporting my work.
If only… 🔥
Some things are better left in your search history.
This week, we're laying out ten kinks and fantasies we find really hot - but will probably never do!
Also: being put to shame by a dildo, sexual insecurities, and the elusive big dick humiliation!
Check out the show notes for relevant links. And if you love the show, don’t forget to rate and review it on Apple Podcasts! 🖤
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Follow me on Instagram, Twitter, and Bluesky.
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I’ve also got a Throne wishlist if you want to treat me to something nice!
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This newsletter contains affiliate links because your girl’s gotta eat! 😘🖤