Do it out loud 🔥
Hi!
Getting someone else to fulfill your fantasy is a really delicate thing.
You have to find an approach that encourages them to explore and experiment without being pushy or making them feel pressured.
It’s tricky, but it can be done.
And I think it’s especially useful when it comes to dirty talk.
Dirty talk is a big issue for women because most of us are turned on by it but a lot of guys are really quiet during sex.
But the reason guys are quiet is what really matters here.
Usually, it’s not because talking dirty turns them off. It’s not because it would take them out of the action or ruin their enjoyment.
A lot of times it’s because they’re a bit insecure.
It might make them feel to vulnerable to actually say something during sex.
It might make them feel like they’re on display when they voice their desires or tell you what they find hot and appealing.
They might worry that you’ll get weirded out or offended by what they say.
Or they might assume that women don’t find dirty talk sexy - or don’t care one way or another.
That’s all stuff you can help with.
You can help them get the confidence they need to say filthy things during sex. You can make them feel comfortable enough to express their desires out loud. You can make them realize just how much better the sex will be if they turn you on with their words.
There’s a lot of advice online on how to get comfortable talking dirty. But there isn’t as much help for people who want to encourage their partner to do it.
So, I decided to help out the ladies who are with a quiet partner. You don’t have to settle for silent sex, even if you’re already settled down.
This week, I also wrote about:
The right way to respond to a thirst trap. Look, I want to post nudes online, I really do. I think it would be so much fun and sometimes I just look kind of cute and I want to share that. But then I look at the responses on other women’s nudes and I see a lot of stuff that’s creepy, cringey, and just plain uncool - and there’s no telling what kind of DMs they’re getting. So, I decided to write this piece on how to act when someone shares their nudes and lewds. If we could all get on the same page, we’d all get to see a whole lot more of them.
Having sex with a people pleaser. Having sex with a people pleaser isn’t as fun as it sounds. Sex should involve people bringing their desires, wants, and fantasies together. It should be about giving and getting all the pleasure you can. But for sex to be great, you need to be able to voice those desires and be clear about limits. And those just happen to be the things a people pleaser struggles with the most. So, I decided to write about what makes sex better for a recovering people pleaser like myself.
And on this week’s episode of the Pillow Talk podcast, Jake and I talk about demisexuality. We go over how it affected our sex lives, what it means for our porn consumption, and why we could never be swingers even though it’s probably a lot of fun.
Enjoy!
Love,
Emma ❤
Treat Yourself
If you want to get yourself a little something fun, here are some companies I love supporting.
I swore off dildos for a long time because I mostly get off from clit stimulation. But I’ve started incorporating them in my solo and partner play and I was definitely missing out! If you don’t have a really good dildo in your sex toy collection, I highly recommend getting one by King Cock. They’re well-designed, feel great, and come in plenty of different sizes. Get it from Betty’s Toy Box and save 10% on your entire order with the code LOVEEMMA
Did you ever find a flavored lube that was so good you just wanted to share it with everyone? For me, that’s the Cotton Candy lube by JO. I got it from Naughty North. The code LOVEEMMA will get you 10% on anything you order from them, too.
I’m into family roleplay porn - like, really into it. If that’s a kink of yours too, you should definitely check out the family roleplay channels on Adult Time, like Mommy’s Girl, Family Sex Massage, and Pure Taboo. Use the code LOVEEMMA to save 20% off your 30-day membership.
These are all affiliate links by the way. If you click them and make a purchase (or use one of my discount codes), I earn a small commission on the sale and you will be supporting my work.
My Latest Medium Posts
These are the articles I published this week on Medium. They're all Friend Links so you can read them for free, even without a Medium Membership.
From Love, Emma
Have you ever tried to do something that seemed incredibly easy and then you just bombed it?
That’s what meditation is like for me. I’ve tried and tried and tried to meditate, but every single time I get anxiety, I ruminate, and I end up feeling miserable.
So when my doctor told me I needed to start meditating, I had to find another way to get the same results. And that’s how I tried getting better health through multiple orgasms.
In this piece from my blog Love, Emma, I talk about what that was like, the challenges that came with it, and why I still think masturbation is way better than meditation.
Pillow Talk with Emma Austin
How do you feel sexual attraction?
For us, it's rare. When it does happen, it's all about the emotional connection.
This week, we talk about what it's like being demisexual, why it makes dating weird, and how it influences our porn choices.
We also talk about why we can't be swingers (even though we have the perfect living room mattress for it), why group hangs are better than dating, and having sex without an emotional connection.
Check out the show notes for relevant links. And if you love the show, consider rating and reviewing it on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Podchaser, or anywhere else!
Something Spicy
The babysitter fantasy is a huge one for me. Grown men who are attractive, responsible, and not scared of commitment? Sign me up!
It just made sense for my first erotic novella to be about a babysitter who has her way with the man of the house.
Nina has a thing for older men. And she’s got the hots for one in particular, Greg Thompson.
There’s only one problem. Greg is Nina’s boss.
Oh, and he’s married.
But working under him is the perfect opportunity for Nina to get closer to Greg and make him realize she’s exactly what he needs.
They fall madly in love, but will Greg ever be ready to leave his loveless marriage? Will Nina get her Happily Ever After with the man of her dreams or will she be left to pick up the pieces of her broken heart?
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