Chaos, chaos, and more chaos 😵😅
Hi!
I don’t really thrive without peace, calm, and a few routines.
But I don’t see myself having any of those for a while.
After spending months being totally stressed out from selling our place and prepping for the move, we’ve finally made it to our new home.
Except it doesn’t really feel like home. Not yet.
It feels more like a hoarder’s den with slightly sketchy plumbing.
I kind of new it would. We bought a fixer upper, so it needs to be fixer uppered.
I just didn’t quite realize how long that would drag out and how chaotic everything would be in the meantime.
We’ve been steadily unpacking for three weeks, but somehow there are still boxes everywhere. It’s like walking through a cardboard jungle, except a jungle would feel a lot more spacious.
We’re adding a couple of bedrooms to the basement, but for now it’s just a big mess of sawdust and power tools. Which means we’re all over each other until those are done.
And there’s always a bunch of things to do and never enough time to do the things I really want.
Like, I bought a bunch of DVDs to watch with Mr. Austin - except there hasn’t been enough downtime to even start one.
I want to fully unwind but I can’t shake the feeling that I should be unpacking at least one more box before I do.
On top of that, the weather turned cold again over the last couple of weeks so I can’t just go out and bask in the sun.
So yeah, it’s chaos on top of chaos.
Which means I’ve always got this low level of anxiety - as if I’m tuned into the house’s manic frequency.
My mind feels super cluttered, too. Just a big ol’ loop of things I’ve got to do, things I have to remind Mr. Austin to do, and things I have to try not to forget.
And the worst part is, I have a really hard time getting into sexy mode when I’m so frazzled. I need a bit of peace and serenity to get in the mood. Distractions kill my lady boner almost as quickly as pushy men do.
Plus, I keep losing my husband to all the DIY projects he’s working through. Like the dishwasher he can’t seem to fix no matter how often he tries or the shelves he never seems to get around to putting up - probably because he’s too busy messing with the dishwasher.
I keep joking-not-joking that I’m building my perfect goon cave. I’ve got a king size bed that takes up most of the space in the bedroom, a big flat screen TV that takes up a lot of the wall, and plenty of dim and colorful lighting options to create some suggestive atmosphere.
It’s legit perfect for mutual masturbation. Except I can’t seem to ever get any time with my mutual masturbator! 💔
And because there isn’t quite enough room for all our stuff, we had to cram all the sex furniture and the massage table into the storage closet. Locking that door felt a bit too symbolic - like I was literally closing up shop and going nun mode.
Okay, so I’m being a little dramatic.
There are still signs of life, even in all this mess.
I’ve created an oasis of tranquility in the bathroom.
Yes, there are boxes piled in there too. But the tub is nice and clean. I’ve got a space heater so I can toast up the joint and fully enjoy being naked. And my trusty masturbation showerhead is hooked up and ready for action.
I started organizing my sex dolls and sex toys, too. I even managed to recreate my dildo shelf. I’m still working on finding more storage space for all the spicy stuff, but at least it’s unpacked and in reach whenever I want it.
And there’s plenty of light at the end of the tunnel. Like, I can see the vision - and it looks pretty nice.
Once we get through this, we should have enough room for everyone, a decent amount of privacy, and even a wood stove to make things hella cozy.
There will be a garden growing out back so I’ll be able to walk around, check on my tomatoes, and pull out my phone to look up how to tell when your cucumbers are ready to be harvested.
I’ll have a nice comfy living room where I can watch a DVD from start to finish like it was still 2008.
And I’ll be able to lock Mr. Austin in the bedroom with me so we can stream hardcore porn until I get the urge to imitate everything happening on screen. Well, the things my back can tolerate anyway.
That really won’t be so bad.
It’s all chaos now, but there’s peace and sex and lots of fresh veggies in my future. I just gotta hold tight until I get to the good part.
Love,
Emma ❤
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